Dear Dad at Swim Class ...

Greetings!

I've been pining over what to blog about for weeks. I go through the filing cabinet of subject matter in my head trying to find the thing that I feel passionate about that day. Then one of the kids gets sick, or Lady Luck, who's 2 enters into "pick-a-me-up" stage. (no we aren't Italian). So forth and so on. 

Lady Luck, goes to swim class. She's actually exceptionally good at it. She's 2 and she's in a class for 3 and 4 year olds. Her temperament is exactly that of a 2 year old. The other day she decided she didn't like her swim coach while we were in the car on the way to swim, and that she wanted her kitty to facilitate swimming that day. She screamed the entire swim class, except when it was her turn, then she did every task asked of her to the best of her ability. When her turn was over she cried non-stop "mommy, pick-a-me-up!!". I don't pick her up, I wave and smile and tell her good job.  She screamed CRAZY the other day because I had the audacity to try and put her sparkle jeans on her instead of the red tutu. She needs 57 different things at bedtime... "i need to wash my hands", she told me the other night. She antagonizes her brother and she throws things when she's mad. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet, loving, awesome little creature. But she's nuts because she's 2. I thought my son (my first child) was kind of a prick at that age, acting like he didn't have any sense in his head, but it's the result of being 2. 

This is the advantage of having more than one child. With one kid you have dreams of grandeur... you have tons of time to spend with the one child. Tons of time to worry about the one child. Is he smart enough? Does he feel loved enough? Does he get enough one on one time? Is he up to speed with his peers? You try to keep him from doing anything potentially dangerous because you're terrified that he could get hurt. Then you have more kids. By baby number 2 you're worried the first child is going to accidentally or purposely hurt the baby. That child number 1 will feel jealous, left out, less loved. That child number 2 won't get that special one on one time that child number 1 got because now you have two. *Sigh*.... *Double Sigh*.  Then you have three kids and you sort of can't worry about some of the other stuff. I stand at the window watching my son and daughter play outside while I hold the baby going "oh boy.... please don't fall..." (as I stand there, barely breathing).... and of course, most of the time, all is well. Sometimes they do fall. They cry. I hold them. Then they're off again to another adventure. 

So, back to swim class... The original point of my blog today. (You'll find that my ramblings go all over the place, but gosh, in the end I always hope the thought finally presents itself.) There was a dad there, with his 3 year old son. I'd like to address the remaining blog to him.....

Dear Dad at Swim Class,

Your son was in my daughters swim class today. He was a little ornery, he splashed a lot...he kept grabbing the toys they have at the edge of the pool and hoarding them. He got water in his eyes and cried. He splashed my daughter in the face. Twice. Because the first time it was kind of funny to him. When class was over you told the swim coach, "I don't know what's wrong with Hunter. Ever since he turned 3 he's been a tyrant." You were visibly frustrated. You even went over and stood in the corner of the pool area so he knew you were there to make sure he was behaving. You seemed to me, to feel like Hunter was acting badly. When I watched Hunter, he very much reminded me of both my older kids, and my friends 2 and 3 year olds. He's spirited and a little wild. He's a boy and that actually means that he's probably MORE wild than his female counterparts. Generally. He was so excited to see you when he was done swimming and you were embarrassed and frustrated. You felt like he didn't do his part, or behave as well as the other kids. It's too bad we didn't have class together when my daughter screamed the whole time. Maybe Hunter would have seemed less annoying. Maybe if he had been in a swim class with my son you'd have thought Hunter was a SUPER STAR. My son likes to do cannon balls when he's supposed to jump in like a civilized person. But he can't. He just can't do it. It's too amazing to cannon ball. At least he doesn't scream "cannonball". Hunter did a good job. Just remember that he's 3. He's just a little boy. He's wild, he has no inhibitions yet. Society hasn't tried to shape him into a person that fits in a box yet. He bucks the system. He rages against the machine. He thinks outside the rest of our boxes. He still has the spirit of a person who is totally free and he's trying to find his independence. He's trying to figure out how he fits into his world, let alone ours. Yours. Theirs. Next time, it's okay just to say "You did a good job buddy. How was swim today?".... later in the day you can talk about how next time maybe he can try to leave the toys on the side of the pool until the coach hands them out. But in that one moment, he was looking for you to be there, in his moment with him. His moment is pure freedom. We all should try to live in the freedom of a 3 year old. it's pretty awesome.

Good Luck Dad at Swim. 


For the rest of us. Let's try to climb out of the box. If we all had the wonder, excitement, imagination and freedom of a toddler, golly, we'd all probably be so much happier. 

There's still hope for us. There's hope that we can actually be free. Freedom belongs to us. It's a human right. Kids, they don't know about limitations of freedom...they don't know about the media filling our heads with bullshit rules and guidelines... they know only of freedom. Their energy spills out all over the place. It's colorful and it sparkles... we can all be free like them.

Namaste.

Jenn